60 Days, a shopping fast
It's Day 60.
In early December, I began to feel a tug on my heart to do something that I did not want to do...a shopping fast. I tried to ignore the unction, but it was that feeling that was lingering. One day, I received a box in the mail for myself and was unsure of what it was...it was a pair of sneakers I had ordered for myself and had completely forgotten about them. In that moment, I knew the unction was more than just a feeling, but something I needed to act on.I found myself in a very similar situation about 5 years ago. It was right after Jason and I got married and I had a lot of discontentment. I was very much in love with Jason and happy about the decision to get married, but I was unhappy with where we living, my career (I was unsure of what the heck I was doing), etc. As a means to make myself happy, I was doing a lot of shopping. A candle here, a blouse there...I was always buying something to give me temporary happiness. Needless to say, it wasn't working, as I had not addressed the root issue...so I embarked on a 90 day shopping fast. Some of the hardest days of my life, but I endured. And I learned a lot about myself. Perhaps one of the most profound being that when I choose to, I truly can control my FLESH. Since that fast, so much has changed in my life. And it has all been for the better!This past Fall, I found myself developing a little habit...a little over purchasing if you will. My once-in-awhile self splurges were becoming more routine. Between New York Fashion Week and other things on the calendar, I was building a list of reasons why I needed this, why I need that, etc. And this list extended beyond clothing...it was manicures, blowouts, beauty products, etc. While according to society's standards, I wasn't out of control, in some capacity I felt that way. So here we are on Day 6- and I've only had a few moments of weakness, but overall I'm feeling good about the progress I've made. It's been amazing to remind myself that I CAN CONTROL MY FLESH. I don't have to react every time I see something I want and that I can prioritize what I actually need. This process has given me the opportunity to rediscover things I once loved but forgot about. It has helped me define what I need/what I actually want. And lastly, it has reminded me, just because I can do something, doesn't mean I should...there should always be thoughtful consideration behind everything we do.As my 60 days come to a close, I have got a fresh list of Spring must haves, as well as a list of things I want to continue rediscovering and giving new life to. In my experience, saying NO for a season has always yielded a fruitful harvest in the future. I'm not 100% sure what God is up to, but I trust that He has something planned down the road that would not have been possible to achieve without this season of pruning and saying no...to myself.I am not sure who needed to hear this, but I hope it inspires you to move forward and to listen to that still quiet voice that lives within all of us. 